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By Jim Uphoff, Ed. D.
I am always fascinated by the inconsistent actions of people. For example, our local regional paper endorsed a “business person” for the State School Board position over an educator because he could to a better job of cutting costs. No mention of curriculum or standards or other such “school” elements. Yet the headline writers of our nation’s newspapers provide Jay Leno with much humor ammunition raising some direct questions about the writing ability of the press.
Enjoy (?) with me a few of the best (actual) headlines from 2005 from around the nation as together we assess the writing—even thinking—ability of our country’s press.
The headline will be in ALL CAPS with a comment in regular type.
MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH. Workers just have no real loyalty anymore—very stubborn!
JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT. Perhaps this will work better than a fair trial.
WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE. Sadly that does seem to be the case time after time!
COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES. This writer must have had a class in science at some point—such insight.
RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGES. Well we all knew that plain old duck tape just wasn’t strong enough on its own!
MAN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING: FACES BATTERY CHARGE. You would think that after that jolt, he would be fully charged already.
HOSPITALS ARE SUED BY 7 FOOT DOCTORS. Did they all
play for the same college basketball team or is this just a “tall tale”?
LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUTS CUT IN HALF. The prom theme must have been the “Chainsaw Massacre.”
And finally:
TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETERY; HUNDREDS DEAD. I once was told that no one living within a mile of a New Orleans cemetery could be buried there. It seems they have a law against burying anyone alive!
Quality writing—even of headlines—is hard work because it requires thinking and that is hard work. I would hope that our nation’s press would pay more attention to modeling the goals of a sound education which includes thinking and writing. In the meantime, we can all enjoy their failures to do either. Dr. Jim Uphoff has been an educator for 47 years and with Wright State University for 40 years. He is one of the 17 voting members of the new Ohio Educator Standards Board and a past-president of the Ohio School Boards Association.
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